Immigrant Enrichment & General Loveliness

Dear Gordon.

I was having a disagreement with one of my work colleagues the other day, between you and me I strongly suspect that he may be one of these fascist racist Nazi types.

Anyway, I was telling this idiot what fantastic enrichment all our lovely Somali, West Indian, Iraqi, Iranian and of course Pakistani immigrants have brought to our once dull and dreary, and yes inconsequential isle. you know what he said then? The man actually had the temerity to ask me to list what this enrichment amounted to and give examples!!! Can you believe the gall of the man? But it get's worse, my mind went completely blank! I couldn't for the life of me think of one example to educate this buffoon into what joyous perfection these dark skinned folk bring us!!! You can imagine how stupid I felt!!! All i could think of was lamb Rhogan Jhosh, and he came back with the fact that curry had been invented by British troops in 19th century India!

I just wondered if this type of thing had happened to you or any of the readers of this forum? You know, your mind goes completely blank!

Errm.. Well, they do bring us delicious foreign food, and, of course, they help keep the private security industry and the Police in work. Remember how boring Britain was before the country became 'enriched'. There are many many other benefits, but, like you, I just can't think of any at the moment. If I have any other ideas I'll get back to you.

Does anyone else have any other ideas?

In the meanwhile, let me have the address of your colleague, and we'll keep an eye on him. We can't have folks going around asking questions like that. It's not good for community relations...

You Whities is all racist. De only reason cities like Bristol is rich is cos of de institutionalised oppression of de black peoples. Send all your money now to "Consolidated African Socialist House" (just write CASH for short...) and send to me or me mate Winston C/O Flat 43, Nelson Mandela Tower, Canning Town London. We will use it for "cultural purposes" and 'erbal cultivation.
"I love Gordon" you is off your head. But respect man- Trevor.

Thank you Trevor, and I have to say, lots of folks seem to be lacking 'respeck' for Gordon these days, and rest assured, many of them are going to end up standing with their backs to the wall in the showers in one of Her Majesty's institutions.

Your group sounds like exactly the kind of organisation which the National Lottery was created for, and I have arranged for a grant several million quid to go your way, to help you continue to 'enrich' us. In return, don't forget to arrange for you and all your friends, real and imaginary to vote Labour. Fantastic!

Thank you Mr.Admin man. You is clearly a white racist but you is learnin' respect for the superiority of de black community. New Labour is so scared of bein called racist dat dey will give us whatever we ask for. Dis is only justice as we is simply claimin compensation for years of cultural oppression + de slave trade ( an all dose 70's sit-coms like Till death us do part which disrespected black people). Keep sedin de money Whitey. Exodus!!! Music, Culture,People
JAI !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dearest Uncle Gordon,

I have just returned from a city break with my girlfriend (apologies for being heterosexual, I hope this is acceptable and doesn't mean you will simply delete my posting).

We visited Salzburg in Austria, and were in awe of the city's baroque architecture, beautiful churches, and other cultural gems, such as palaces, towers and music festivals. It was of course the birthplace of that wonderful composer, Mozart.

The locals were polite, friendly and dignified, and the restaurants, cafe's and bars a delight to visit. Crime is virtually unknown and the police are helpful and friendly, though look a little bored!

Despite falling in love with the city at first site, it wasn't long before we realised that something was amiss. As we walked through the pretty little medieval passage ways past the enchanting markets, we realised that the locals were 100% white, try as we might we just could not spot any delightful lovely dark skinned folk. We became more and more frustrated trying to spot lovely Somalis, Pakistanis, Iraqis, anyone but whites, and grew weary of being able to wander anywhere in the city without being mugged or called honkies, even at night. After a day or two we gave up. Yes Gordon, I'm appalled to say that the city was hideously white.

Anyway Gordon, I was wondering if you could have a word with the Austrian president and see if he could import a few thousand lovely dark skinned folk into the city to bring it some much needed enrichment. A couple of mosques and a few no go areas for whites would be wonderful, and I'm sure the police would appreciate something to do when the crime rate rocketed by 500% within a few weeks.

Yours sincerely

I Love Gordon